Sacraments at Grace Church
Guidelines for Holy Baptism at Grace Church
“And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.'”
(Matthew 3:16-17, NRSV)
“Holy Baptism is full initiation by water and the Holy Spirit into Christ's Body the Church. The bond which God establishes in Baptism is indissoluble.”
(The Book of Common Prayer, p. 298)
THE RITE OF HOLY BAPTISM
Baptism is a powerful and radical act of Christian initiation, a threshold that is crossed only once during an individual's lifetime. The order for Holy Baptism is found in The Book of Common Prayer beginning on page 299. During the ceremony water is poured onto the candidate's head in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The priest or bishop makes the sign of the cross on the person's forehead, using oil of Chrism to do so, and says: “You are sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ's own for ever.” The newly baptized are entitled to participate fully in the sacramental life of the Church. They may receive Holy Communion on the occasion of their baptism and should partake of it regularly thereafter.
OCCASIONS FOR BAPTISM
Although baptisms may be performed at any time during the church year, certain occasions are particularly appropriate: the Great Vigil of Easter, the Day of Pentecost (in early summer), All Saints' Day and the Sunday after All Saints' Day (in November), the Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord (in January), and the bishop's visitation.
PREPARATION FOR BAPTISM
The first step in seeking baptism for oneself or for a child is to contact one of the clergy. Ample time should be allowed before the desired date in order to permit adequate preparation. Holy Baptism at Grace Church is conditional upon spiritual instruction and participation in the worship life of the parish. Holy Baptism in its fullest expression includes a sequence of inquiry, self-examination, preparation and prayer, supported by the entire parish community, leading up to the rite of water baptism and culminating in participation in the Eucharist. Every baptism at Grace Church is normally preceded by a three-month period of Christian formation, comprising regular participation in corporate worship as well as catechesis, instruction and spiritual training in the faith. This instruction may be conducted by one of the priests or by a deacon, and typically addresses such topics as: Christian belief about God, human nature and sin; the nature of salvation as revealed in Holy Scripture; the implications of Christian faith for work and in other secular contexts; and the fulfillment of the Baptismal Covenant in the varied ministries of our everyday lives. For an adult candidate, catechesis may take the form of an Inquirers’ Class. In the case of an infant, the parents/guardians and sponsors are expected to prepare for the child’s baptism through catechesis and regular attendance at corporate worship. At the end of the period of catechesis, the Rector will determine whether an individual or family seeking baptism has adequately fulfilled the parish’s expectations for preparation and participation.
BAPTISM OF OLDER CHILDREN
Older children preparing for baptism are expected to attend Sunday School at Grace Church for a period of three months, during which time their parents/guardians and sponsors will participate in catechesis. Older children will be asked to speak for themselves during the rite.
SPONSORS
Every candidate for Holy Baptism is presented, or sponsored, by one or more baptized persons who are active members of a Christian congregation. There is no limit to the number of sponsors. When children are baptized, their sponsors usually include their parents or guardians, and at least one sponsor should be a member of Grace Church. It is appropriate for an adult candidate to be sponsored by someone who was influential in the decision to pursue baptism. An adult inquirer may be matched with a parishioner who will serve as a spiritual mentor during the preparation process and who will be one of the sponsors. Normally baptismal sponsors will participate in the entire sequence of catechesis and in the ceremony. Baptismal sponsors who are not locally available for instruction are expected to be faithful and regular worshippers in their home parish.
THE CEREMONY
The promises demanded of candidates in the rite of Holy Baptism are ancient, echoing the baptismal ritual of nearly two thousand years ago, when the catechumenate (preparation period) lasted three years. The candidates are asked: “Do you renounce Satan?” “Do you renounce the evil powers of this world?” “Do you turn to Jesus Christ and accept him as your Savior?” During the service the entire congregation promises to support and nurture the baptized in their new life in Christ. All those present reaffirm their own baptismal covenant and welcome the candidates “into the household of God.”
PHOTOGRAPHS
Photographs may be taken during the ceremony, but flash pictures are not allowed. If you wish to use a video camera, please make arrangements with the priest ahead of time.
CONTINUING PARTICIPATION
The statement on baptism published by the World Council of Churches affirms that, “Personal commitment is necessary for responsible membership in the body of Christ” (Baptism, Eucharist & Ministry, p. 10). Having been admitted to full membership in the Church, the baptized are expected to continue to grow in faith through regular attendance at worship and participation in parish opportunities for spiritual instruction. As the Catechism in The Book of Common Prayer reminds us, “The duty of all Christians is to follow Christ; to come together week by week for corporate worship; and to work, pray, and give for the spread of the kingdom of God” (p. 856). Those who were involved in the pre-baptismal preparation are expected to continue to meet regularly after the baptism with the person who was baptized, in order to fulfill their pledge to support the baptized in their commitment to Christ.
Guidelines For Holy Matrimony
As Holy Scripture teaches us, our experience of the Holy is expressed in covenant relationships.
In the Bible these relationships are characterized by fidelity, monogamy, trust, forgiveness, and mutual support. They are grounded in the self-giving and steadfast love reflected in Jesus' life, death, and resurrection.
The Church has always honored such relationships and has seen in them a way to participate in the love between God and God's creation. We are formed in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:26). God is not only One, but Three-in-One, a union or communion of three Persons; each has love and need for the other.
Just as the Holy Trinity is a mystery of mutual love, so we human beings are created for mutual love. We believe that it is only in relationships that we learn how to grow into the triune nature of a holy life. It is in this spirit that we at Grace Church seek to honor, uphold, support, protect, and bless all covenant relationships by our prayers and actions.
PREPARATION:
The first step in preparing for the blessing of matrimony at Grace Church is to contact one of the priests. An initial interview may be arranged through the Parish Administrator, but final plans, dates and times for the rehearsal and the wedding cannot be confirmed without the approval of the Rector of Grace Church or a Priest Associate. At least 60 days' notice is required, except in cases where one or both parties have been previously married, which requires advance notice of at least five months. Please keep in mind that weddings will not be performed during the seasons of Advent (the four weeks previous to Christmas) and Lent (Ash Wednesday until Easter Sunday.)
REQUIREMENTS OF THE COUPLE:
We require that the couple intend that marriage be a life-long commitment. Since marriage in the church takes place within the context of the whole Christian life, at least one partner planning to be married must be a baptized Christian and an active member of this parish. It is a special joy when we are asked to celebrate the marriage of returning persons who were raised in the church, whose journey has taken them away from the area, and who now return to Grace Church to be married. Otherwise, we expect the couple to join us in our common life of worship, service, giving, and prayer for the extension of God's realm. The couple will be expected to attend church here on Sundays regularly both before and after the wedding, so that they have the opportunity to become familiar with the church's doctrine and worship.
LEGAL REQUIREMENTS IN THE COMMONWEALTH OF MASSACHUSETTS:
In order for the marriage to be legally valid, the couple needs 1) to obtain a Certificate of Intention to Marry (the wedding license) and 2) to designate a person who is or can be authorized by the Commonwealth to sign the certificate. The Town Clerk of any town within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts can assist the couple in obtaining the necessary documents, which should be obtained at least 60 days before the wedding.
For reasons explained below, clergy members of Grace Church will no longer sign the marriage license. Instead, the couple can choose a friend or relative to perform this function. In order to become a “Justice of the Peace” for a day, the person must fill out an application from the Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth. The completed application should be mailed at least 6 weeks before the date of the wedding, along with a $25 processing fee. For complete details and to download an application, visit the Website of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (http://www.mass.gov/) and search for “One Day Marriage Designation Instructions.” If you prefer, you may instead arrange for a Justice of the Peace to sign the marriage license. The marriage license can be signed during the wedding ceremony after either the Declaration of Consent or the Exchange of the Marriage Vows.
The clergy of Grace Church have decided to refrain from signing marriage licenses for several reasons. Separating the “secular” from the “sacred” elements of the wedding service removes the priest's role as a functionary of the State, thus allowing us all to honor with more integrity the Constitutional separation of Church and State. It also allows us to acknowledge with deep regret that Episcopal clergy are not at this time authorized by our denomination to solemnize the marriage between couples of the same sex. The clergy of Grace Church are, however, fully committed to engaging every liturgical and pastoral resource that is canonically available to us in order to assure gay and lesbian couples of our support and of our desire to include them more fully in our parish's mission to restore all persons, regardless of sexual orientation, to unity with God and each other in Jesus Christ.
PREMARITAL COUNSELING AND RE-MARRIAGE AFTER DIVORCE:
Couples can expect a minimum of three one-hour pre-marital counseling sessions with the officiating priest and a half-hour rehearsal the day before the wedding. Additional counseling may be advisable, and frequently couples are encouraged to take advantage of professional services available locally. In the case of remarriage of one or both parties, the priest is required by canon law to obtain the consent of the Bishop of the Diocese of Western Massachusetts before performing the ceremony. Please note that this is not an “automatic” consent and may require more extensive work beforehand. Divorced persons will also be expected to provide evidence that the former marriage has been dissolved by a civil court, and that continuing concern is being shown for the emotional and financial well-being of the former spouse and any children of the prior marriage, Normally re-marriage will not occur until at least one year has elapsed since the separation or divorce. Please be aware that the priest may decline to solemnize any marriage if issues or facts are discovered during the pre-marital sessions that would indicate sufficient reasons for doing so.
LITURGY:
Because a wedding is a sacred service of worship, the priest will be in charge of all the details of the ceremony itself, in consultation with the bride and the groom. The priest will assist the couple in deciding whether or not the Holy Eucharist will be celebrated as part of the service. The priest also assists in shaping the liturgy, normally based on the rite found in the Book of Common Prayer and supplemental materials used in the Episcopal Church.
BANNS:
Because we take seriously the prayers and support of the whole parish, the officiating priest may publish an announcement of the intent of the couple to be joined in a life-long union. This gives the community a chance to offer prayer and spiritual support to the couple as they prepare to make their vows. It also gives the congregation an opportunity to express concerns or objections to the officiating minister well in advance of the ceremony. Traditionally called “the banns,” this announcement is made in church, in the parish bulletin, and newsletter in the weeks preceding the ceremony.
MUSIC:
Music for the liturgy needs to be in keeping with the dignity and solemnity of the services of the Episcopal Church. Classical music and hymns from the Hymnal are most appropriate. The Music Director or Organist of Grace Church will meet with the couple to assist with choosing music, Our church organist is ordinarily the organist at the ceremony. Questions about music will ultimately be resolved by the officiating priest. If special arrangements are to be made for soloists or instruments in addition to the church organ, they must be made in consultation with the organist and be in place well in advance.
A WEDDING REHEARSAL:
A rehearsal that includes all the parties involved in the liturgy is required. If the couple wishes to have friends and relatives read lessons or to have other Christian ministers participate in the liturgy, this must be cleared well in advance with the officiating priest. It is not necessary or expected that the priest be invited to the rehearsal party or wedding reception.
FLOWERS:
Normally one or two arrangements will suffice. If the wedding is held during Christmastide or Eastertide when the Church is already decorated, a donation to the flower fund is appropriate. Flowers for the bridal party are the sole responsibility of the bride and groom. Florists usually charge between $100-$200 for the altar arrangements. Bouquets and boutonnières are usually a separate expense.
PHOTOGRAPHS DURING THE CEREMONY:
Photographs can be taken by one photographer. The photographer will need to arrange with the priest for positioning that will not be obtrusive or in any way disruptive to the liturgy. In order to preserve the dignity and reverence of the service, no flash pictures are permitted. Please make it clear to your wedding guests that they should refrain from taking pictures during the ceremony. The priest will be happy to recreate moments or to pose with you after the service is over.
RICE, BIRDSEED, CONFETTI, etc.:
All of these pose a safety hazard for the bridal party and guests. Please notify your guests in advance that such items are not to be thrown in the Church building or on Church property.
RECEPTIONS IN THE PARISH HALL:
We are delighted to have couples make use of our Parish Hall and facilities for their celebration after the wedding. Arrangements can be made with the Parish Administrator who can provide information about the use of the kitchen, tables and seating, decorations, music. Fees for use of our facilities compare favorably to those of local banquet and catering establishments.
FEES AND DONATIONS:
Fees for weddings are ultimately the responsibility of the bride and groom. They may be paid in advance but no later than the day of rehearsal. The Organist's fee, which is set by the American Guild of Organists, is $250. Other fees may be involved if other musicians participate in the service. Fees for the Altar Guild are $200. The Sexton who assists the priest and bridal party and guests at the wedding is paid $100. These checks can be made out to the individuals whose names will be provided. The clergy of Grace Church do not charge for their services at a wedding. It is customary, however, that a donation to the Rector's Discretionary Fund that is dedicated to the relief of those in need. Such a contribution symbolizes that the love between two persons overflows in hospitality and generosity toward those who are in need. These donations have ranged generally from $150 to $1,000. Such donations, made out to Grace Church, Rector's Discretionary Account, are tax-deductible.
Funerals at Grace Church
“We do not live to ourselves, and we do not dies to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:7-8)
About the Funeral
We hope that you will find comfort in planning and carrying out -- with the help of the clergy -- a service of remembrance for your loved one. The clergy and staff of Grace Church offer you our deepest sympathies at this time of grief.
After you discuss the details with one of the clergy, we will put together a bulletin for the service.
You should contact your florist to have flowers delivered on the day of the service, or the funeral home may transport flowers from the funeral home. Members of the Altar Guild will take care of arranging the flowers.
Fees are as follows:
Organist $175 - payable to Richard Damon
Altar Guild $200 - payable to Grace Church, with (altar guild on the memo line)
Officiant's Fee $175 - payable to the appropriate clergyperson:
Rev. Robert Hirschfeld, Rev. Margaret Bullitt-Jonas
Thank you.
About the Reception
The members of the Funeral Reception Committee at Grace Church offer our heartfelt condolences on your loss. In the difficult days ahead we are prepared to do whatever we can to assist you in your time of grief. As the Holy Spirit comforts you and your family and friends, the Funeral Reception Committee stands ready to extend the hospitality of Grace Church to those who have come to your loved one's funeral.
Please look over the following suggestions, and a member of the committee will contact you soon to discuss arrangements.
- For services at which more than 50 attendees are expected, or a sit-down meal is desired, Grace Church's Parish Hall can be used to accommodate gatherings up to 200 people. The Parish Hall, located in the building behind the church, has a full-sized kitchen (no freezer) and a handicapped-accessible bathroom.
- There are three kinds of receptions, depending on the time of day at which the funeral is scheduled:
- Light refreshments – cookies/bars, crudités, punch, coffee/tea service.
- These are provided by the Funeral Reception Committee in hospitable outreach to the community.
- Simple meals (seated or not) – sandwiches OR soup and bread, cookies, punch, coffee/tea service.
- If a simple meal is desired, the family of the deceased is welcome to provide the food for the reception, or the committee can provide this at cost
- Full (catered) meals.
- Should you prefer to have a full meal, we can provide you with a list of caterers and will assist your caterer with set-up and serving, if desired. Your caterer will be provided with Parish Hall usage guidelines, with which they will be expected to comply
- The Committee can also provide:
- a simple floral arrangement, or work with your florist;
- a table on which you can display memorabilia;
- candelabra(s) and candles;
- white tablecloths;
- anything else to help you personalize the reception.
- We hope that this information has been helpful to you. A committee member will contact you shortly to finalize arrangements. Again, our deepest sympathies on your bereavement.
